The Human Agenda

Human Agenda Meetings

Human Agenda Meeting Guidelines

My thanks to Ronald R. Short, Ph.D.

1. Begin meetings by having each person share their name and their intentions. Describe what they think, feel and want from the meeting.

2. Get clear about the purpose of the meeting and roles each will play.

3. Throughout the meeting check inside yourself. What is going on?

4. Make a choice about what to do with your inside information. Will it help you to share it? Will it help the meeting?

5. Lead with your intention. State why you are speaking and what you want in response.

6. Inquire when you are unclear about another person’s intention.

7. End the meeting by inviting every person to describe the impact of the meeting on them and the degree to which the meeting achieved it’s objectives.

As we are having more meetings “virtually” it is important that we are intentional about the gathering. These guidelines can assure better outcomes for all concerned.

The Human Agenda

David E. Nelson

humanagenda@gmail.com

816.896.3835

Life-Long Learning

LIFE LONG LEARNING

“The provision or use of both formal and informal learning opportunities through- out people's lives in order to foster the continuous development and improvement of the knowledge and skills needed for employment and personal fulfilment.”

Top Ten Reasons to be a Lifelong Learner

1. We live in a changing world. What we learned in the past is not enough for life today and tomorrow.

2. No job, no career, is your life. Continuing to learn keeps life interesting for you.

3. Learning new information, stories, and ideas keeps you interesting to others.

4. No matter what your age, preparing for retirement is a good thing.

5. The human brain is functioning at its best when you are using it fully.

6. Life is too short for a full-time job. Keep balance in your life.

7. There is so much “out there” you don’t want to miss.

8. The community and world need more people who are curious about life.

9. You can impress your friends with new ideas at the office and at a party.

10. It is so much fun.

Ten Practices for Being a Lifelong Learner

1. Decide to be a lifelong learner. “Not to decide is to decide.”

2. Keep a record of what you learn. Use a journal, daybook or other method to document your learning.

3. Have partners in your quest. There are groups in your community that read and study together. You can audit classes at a local community college or university. You can select a “study-buddy” to meet with weekly or less often.

4. Set goals and write down action plans for your learning practice.

5. Create learning experiences with people you love. Family trips for a day, week or longer can be rich learning opportunities. Engage partners and children in the planning.

6. Go to movies and have a discussion with others about the movie. The “Art Form Discussion Guide” can be used with any movie or book.

7. Read a daily newspaper and increase your knowledge of your community.

8. Don’t be afraid to reach beyond your normal circle to discover new friends and partners in the human journey.

9. Volunteer to teach or facilitate at a free university or local organization.

10. Have fun!

IF by Rudyard Kipling

If—
Related Poem Content Details
BY RUDYARD KIPLING
(‘Brother Square-Toes’—Rewards and Fairies)
If you can keep your head when all about you   
    Are losing theirs and blaming it on you,   
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you, 
    But make allowance for their doubting too;   
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting, 
    Or being lied about, don’t deal in lies, 
Or being hated, don’t give way to hating, 
    And yet don’t look too good, nor talk too wise: 

If you can dream—and not make dreams your master;   
    If you can think—and not make thoughts your aim;   
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster 
    And treat those two impostors just the same;   
If you can bear to hear the truth you’ve spoken 
    Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools, 
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken, 
    And stoop and build ’em up with worn-out tools: 

If you can make one heap of all your winnings 
    And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss, 
And lose, and start again at your beginnings 
    And never breathe a word about your loss; 
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew 
    To serve your turn long after they are gone,   
And so hold on when there is nothing in you 
    Except the Will which says to them: ‘Hold on!’ 

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,   
    Or walk with Kings—nor lose the common touch, 
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you, 
    If all men count with you, but none too much; 
If you can fill the unforgiving minute 
    With sixty seconds’ worth of distance run,   
Yours is the Earth and everything that’s in it,   
    And—which is more—you’ll be a Man, my son!

Source: A Choice of Kipling's Verse (1943)

Preparing for Retirement

Reflections on Retirement

“It’s your life.  Don’t miss it.”

David E. Nelson – Appreciative Inquiry Coach

 Some of you who are reading this are in the early days of your career and wonder why read on.  Some may be looking forward and counting the years, months or even days until that moment arrives.  And still others, like me, have reached that crossroads on the journey of a life.  I was shocked when my family offered to host a retirement party for me a year ago.  I still thought of myself in that first group.  Time moves forward at a faster and faster speed we all will soon discover.

 I will leave it for others to work on some of the financial plans about retirement, it is the social, physical, and personal matters that I want to reflect on in this space.  From my experience this past year, I have discovered it is important to follow Stephen Covey’s advice and “begin with the end in mind.”  Think today, at whatever point in your journey, about tomorrow.  Put actions in place that will position you to thrive when you step across that threshold into retirement.  Even if your retirement will come in stages, as mine has, there are moments when it becomes clear that life is different now that making money has become far less a demanding reality.  I offer this list for you to consider and to revise for your own planning to enjoy the last half of your life.

1. Discover what you love to do.  What fills your cup?  What activities, connections, and engagements do you cherish and feel renewed afterwards?  It has been sad for me to hear some of my friends tell me how difficult it is to retire because they don’t know what to do with their time.  Their daily and weekly agenda was driven by job demands and they did not invest their time or energy to discover the true joys of their life.
2. Remember no job is who you are.  You may be a great supervisor or office manager, etc. but you are always more than that.  And if your identity is wrapped too tightly around a profession or a job, retirement can be very difficult.  It is important to keep defining yourself while employed in ways that expand your humanness.  Perhaps there are aspects of your present employment that will remain very special, but no one is only their position.
3. Learn more about human “being” than human “doing.”  So often I get caught up in activity.  Often people say to me, “You must be really busy.”  I respond, partially tongue in cheek, but also honestly, “No, busy is not one of my goals.”  Retirement gives me the chance to be comfortably engaged rather than just busy.  Now I get to select activities that satisfy me and add to my family and community.  My Native American friends tell me that a bird, a fox, or a tree know clearly how to be a bird, a fox, or a tree.  But we humans often appear to not understand how to be a human being.  Each of us will make that discovery on our own and the definitions will differ.
4. Reflect on how you want to be remembered.  In several of the classes I teach I have people write their obituaries.  I ask them to do a bit of wishful thinking about what words they would like to have said about them after they die.  Some are hesitant and even resistant, but most discover significant insight in completing the assignment.  Some of my clients have created clever statements that spark laughter, but even in these playful reflections new insights are often embraced.  Several have even made some major adjustment in their lives based on how they want to be remembered. 
5. Be selective in your circle of friends.  In much of my professional life I was engaged with people I would never have selected as friends.  My profession laid on me the responsible to be present to them and engaged in positive ways.  Not all these connections were without their rewards.  In fact at times I gained much more than I would have ever expected.   Being selective for me means finding those I grow with and not merely those I agree with.  I want friends who share my politics and my spirituality.  I also want friends who will share a different perspective in a respectful and engaging manner.  I have weekly meetings with people who articulate a very different political or spiritual opinion than my own.
6. Learn to say “yes” and “no”.   Too many of my friends are easily seduced into getting more involved than they really want.  People who allow others to write the agendas of their lives will often complain to their family and friends rather than make the decision to say “no”.  Living life “on your terms” is not a selfish decision; it is a human decision that can speak volumes to the people who look to you as a model.  In retirement you have earned the right to say yes or no and not be manipulated into serving on another committee, hosting another party, taking care of your grandchildren, or going back to work as a “consultant”, unless these are your choices.  Think carefully as you discern how you want to spend these precious years of your life.
7. Keep expanding your horizons.  Retirement does not have to mean ending your human evolution.  I am convinced that the only wasted day in my life is the day I claim no new learnings.  Sometimes the learnings are from a class.  It is delightful to see all the free or low cost classes available in every community I am familiar with.  Sometimes the learnings are from events and discoveries in the daily news or events.  Sometimes the learnings are difficult and even painful.  But each day as you claim a new learning your horizons lengthen and your life expands.

Keep the list growing by adding your own.  “It’s your life. Don’t miss it.”

 

Beliefs can be dangerous

In today's (September 2, 2004) Kansas City Star there is an important reminder that when beliefs become too fixed and loose the ability to change, what once gave life can now deliver suffering and death. A degree of self-skepticism is needed in all our lives. Especially for those of us who are leaders in the religious and spiritual community, it is important to be open to new truth on a regular basis. The primary purpose of religious/spiritual conversations is to learn, that is TO CHANGE AND GROW in the perception and understanding of reality, AND THEN TO ACT ACCORDINGLY.

To read the entire article click here.

Positive Attitude

"People who are aware of their moods tend to be independent and in good psychological health.  They have a positive attitude toward life and are able to get out of a bad mood rather then obsessing about it. Being self-aware helps them manage their emotions."
                                                                                                                                                      
  Daniel Goleman, PhD

   

Resonant Leadership

Resonant Leadership by Richard Boyatzis and Annie McKee

Leadership is more about building relationships than imposing power.  It is about connecting in powerful ways with people more than manipulating people to conform to certain rules.  Leadership is about understanding and appreciating others to greatness more than asserting one’s own agenda into every encounter.  I really like this book because I agree with its basic premise.  These authors understand that emotional intelligence is an imperative in today’s workplace and without it organizations may soon loose their effectiveness.  Through a series of stories Boyatzis and McKee invite you, the reader, to discover your own positive core and connect it with those around you.  Each chapter is completed with a series of exercises that reinforce the learnings in the chapter and integrate this style of leadership into your daily practice.

The quotes shared below are offered to wet your appetite for reading this important book about leadership and emotional intelligence.  It is a clear message that today’s leaders are women and men who are practice mindfulness, hope and compassion.  These “soft skills” are emerging as extremely important ones in the current workplace.  They are also very important for those of us who seek to keep a balance in our lives between our professional and personal worlds.

“Great leaders are awake, aware, and attuned to themselves, to others, and to the world around them.  They commit to their beliefs, stand strong in their values, and live full, passionate lives.  Great leaders are emotionally intelligence and they are mindful: they seek to live in full consciousness of self, others, nature, and society.  Great leaders face the uncertainly of today’s world with hope: they inspire through clarity of vision, optimism, and a profound belief in their – and their people’s – ability to turn dreams into reality.  Great leaders face sacrifice, difficulties, and challenges, as well as opportunities, with empathy and compassion for the people they lead and those they serve.  (3)

“Our bodies tell the truth, and even when we do not intend it, we send messages about our true feelings.”    (23)

“We see three major reasons that so many people sink into dissonance and are allowed to remains in that state.  First, there is what we have termed the Sacrifice Syndrome.  Second, many people cope with their stress by developing what are called defensive routines – bad habits that keep us in denial about what is really going on inside us and around us.  And finally, our organizations create their own monsters – some of the worst, dissonant behaviors are actually encouraged in the workplace, especially in the tense environment of the last several years.” (40)
“Sustainable, effective leadership occurs only when the experiences of the sacrifice and stress of leadership are interchanged with those of renewal.  While resonance will lead to effective leadership, unless a leader moves in and out of renewal, he or she will not be able to sustain it.”  (63)

“MINDFULNESS – living in a state of full and conscious awareness of one’s whole self, other people, and the context in which we live and work.”  (73)

“How often we see what we think, rather than think about what we see.” (130)

“HOPE acts as a magnet – an “attractor” in the terminology of complexity theory.  Like other positive emotions such as excitement, amusement, elation, and happiness, hops has a positive impact on our brains and hormones…the attractor catalyzes a self-perpetuating sequence, or self-organizing system.  As the positive emotional attractor, then, hope allows you to consider your strengths, your dreams, and desired vision for the future.  Such contemplation then slows your breathing, lowers your blood pressure, strengthens your immune system, and engages your parasympathetic nervous system.” (154)

“We define COMPASSION as having three components:
·    Understanding and empathy for others’ feelings and experiences
·    Caring for others
·    Willingness to act on those feelings of care and empathy
We believe compassion incorporates the desire to reach and help others whether or not their condition is based on suffering and pain.  Our definition of compassion, then is close to that of Confucian philosophy; compassion is the emotional expression of the virtue of benevolence.

Reflective Happiness

Reflective Happiness provides you with the knowledge, tools, and skills needed to master the three components of happiness: 1) the Pleasant Life ; 2) the Engaged Life ; 3) the Meaningful Life. Rigorous scientific testing demonstrates that these three components of happiness can reliably be increased. Based  on this research, Reflective Happiness, together with world-renowned psychologist, Dr. Martin Seligman, has created the Reflective Happiness Plan to accurately measure, improve and sustain your emotional well-being for a more fulfilling and satisfying life.

National Geographic March 2005

Ten years ago most neuroscientists saw the brain as a kind of computer, developing fixed functions early.  What we now appreciate is that the brain is continually revising itself throughout life.

While the brain's plasticity begins to degrade in later life, it may never be too late to teach an old brain new tricks.  Even the memories of pre-senile individuals in the 60s and 70s can, with focused training, be dramatically rejuvenated.

That is all very good news to a guy on the eve of his 60th birthday.  The article "What's in Your Mind" is a good addition to other information emerging on the most complex organism in the universe, the human brain.  We all have one.

If you do not get National Geography Magazine, you can still visit on line to view among other things a baby and a python having their picture taken together.

Three Brain Types

What kind of a human are you?

This outline is based loosely on Gurdjieff’s Three Brain Types.   Georgiades Ivanovitch Gurdjieff, the charismatic Armenian mystic and teacher of the first half of the 20th century, maintained that human beings are “three-brained beings”, each brain forming a different center of awareness.  The contemporary brain research is adding significant new insight to the evolution of the human brain, but much truth remains in his thoughts.

Human Brain Number One - The Belly/The Gut
Instinctual intelligence.  Lives in the phenomenal environment, in the moment.  Acts on impulse, instinctive, body-oriented, materialistic, non-reflective, lusty and bound by the earth.

You enjoy acting impulsively, on instinct, rather than reasoning out a course of action.  You trust that your whole body will instinctively act for you.  You seldom bother to reflect on your actions.  You take pleasure in the immediate things of life – food, drink, sex, and in the delight of energy and the action of your body.

Brainstem and Cerebellum – The most ancient of the three brains is responsible for the more mechanical aspects of the body, being dedicated to movement, the physical senses and instinctual responses

Human Brain Number Two --The Heart
Feeling intelligence.  Lives in the emotions, passionate, jealous, possessed and possessive, expressive, moody and unreasonable.

You know that you respond to people and situations in a very emotional way.  You are passionate and value love above all reason.  You sometimes act foolishly simply because you feel driven by an over-whelming impulse you can’t explain.  You become insanely jealous while you know you have to reason to.

The Limbic System  -- The emotional center that creates feelings but is not conscious in itself.  It is the most powerful generator or urges in the nervous system and has the greatest influence on our behavior.

Human Brain Number Three  -- The Head
Reasoning intelligence.  Living in the head and in an environment of ideas.  Using the reasoning powers of the mind, logical and strategic, mathematical, knowledgeable, mind-created experience.

You enjoy the delights of intellectual challenge, the world of ideas and of creative dreaming.  You want to increase your knowledge and seek the truth and the meaning of existence.  You do not trust your emotions, preferring logic and careful reasoning.

The Cortex – The area of the brain is concerned with language, think, planning, organizing and consciousness.  It has fewer neural pathways to the other brains than from them.