
Resonant Leadership by Richard Boyatzis and Annie McKee
Leadership is more about building relationships than imposing power. It is about connecting in powerful ways with people more than manipulating people to conform to certain rules. Leadership is about understanding and appreciating others to greatness more than asserting one’s own agenda into every encounter. I really like this book because I agree with its basic premise. These authors understand that emotional intelligence is an imperative in today’s workplace and without it organizations may soon loose their effectiveness. Through a series of stories Boyatzis and McKee invite you, the reader, to discover your own positive core and connect it with those around you. Each chapter is completed with a series of exercises that reinforce the learnings in the chapter and integrate this style of leadership into your daily practice.
The quotes shared below are offered to wet your appetite for reading this important book about leadership and emotional intelligence. It is a clear message that today’s leaders are women and men who are practice mindfulness, hope and compassion. These “soft skills” are emerging as extremely important ones in the current workplace. They are also very important for those of us who seek to keep a balance in our lives between our professional and personal worlds.
“Great leaders are awake, aware, and attuned to themselves, to others, and to the world around them. They commit to their beliefs, stand strong in their values, and live full, passionate lives. Great leaders are emotionally intelligence and they are mindful: they seek to live in full consciousness of self, others, nature, and society. Great leaders face the uncertainly of today’s world with hope: they inspire through clarity of vision, optimism, and a profound belief in their – and their people’s – ability to turn dreams into reality. Great leaders face sacrifice, difficulties, and challenges, as well as opportunities, with empathy and compassion for the people they lead and those they serve. (3)
“Our bodies tell the truth, and even when we do not intend it, we send messages about our true feelings.” (23)
“We see three major reasons that so many people sink into dissonance and are allowed to remains in that state. First, there is what we have termed the Sacrifice Syndrome. Second, many people cope with their stress by developing what are called defensive routines – bad habits that keep us in denial about what is really going on inside us and around us. And finally, our organizations create their own monsters – some of the worst, dissonant behaviors are actually encouraged in the workplace, especially in the tense environment of the last several years.” (40)
“Sustainable, effective leadership occurs only when the experiences of the sacrifice and stress of leadership are interchanged with those of renewal. While resonance will lead to effective leadership, unless a leader moves in and out of renewal, he or she will not be able to sustain it.” (63)
“MINDFULNESS – living in a state of full and conscious awareness of one’s whole self, other people, and the context in which we live and work.” (73)
“How often we see what we think, rather than think about what we see.” (130)
“HOPE acts as a magnet – an “attractor” in the terminology of complexity theory. Like other positive emotions such as excitement, amusement, elation, and happiness, hops has a positive impact on our brains and hormones…the attractor catalyzes a self-perpetuating sequence, or self-organizing system. As the positive emotional attractor, then, hope allows you to consider your strengths, your dreams, and desired vision for the future. Such contemplation then slows your breathing, lowers your blood pressure, strengthens your immune system, and engages your parasympathetic nervous system.” (154)
“We define COMPASSION as having three components:
· Understanding and empathy for others’ feelings and experiences
· Caring for others
· Willingness to act on those feelings of care and empathy
We believe compassion incorporates the desire to reach and help others whether or not their condition is based on suffering and pain. Our definition of compassion, then is close to that of Confucian philosophy; compassion is the emotional expression of the virtue of benevolence.