The Human Agenda

Life-Long Learning

LIFE LONG LEARNING

“The provision or use of both formal and informal learning opportunities through- out people's lives in order to foster the continuous development and improvement of the knowledge and skills needed for employment and personal fulfilment.”

Top Ten Reasons to be a Lifelong Learner

1. We live in a changing world. What we learned in the past is not enough for life today and tomorrow.

2. No job, no career, is your life. Continuing to learn keeps life interesting for you.

3. Learning new information, stories, and ideas keeps you interesting to others.

4. No matter what your age, preparing for retirement is a good thing.

5. The human brain is functioning at its best when you are using it fully.

6. Life is too short for a full-time job. Keep balance in your life.

7. There is so much “out there” you don’t want to miss.

8. The community and world need more people who are curious about life.

9. You can impress your friends with new ideas at the office and at a party.

10. It is so much fun.

Ten Practices for Being a Lifelong Learner

1. Decide to be a lifelong learner. “Not to decide is to decide.”

2. Keep a record of what you learn. Use a journal, daybook or other method to document your learning.

3. Have partners in your quest. There are groups in your community that read and study together. You can audit classes at a local community college or university. You can select a “study-buddy” to meet with weekly or less often.

4. Set goals and write down action plans for your learning practice.

5. Create learning experiences with people you love. Family trips for a day, week or longer can be rich learning opportunities. Engage partners and children in the planning.

6. Go to movies and have a discussion with others about the movie. The “Art Form Discussion Guide” can be used with any movie or book.

7. Read a daily newspaper and increase your knowledge of your community.

8. Don’t be afraid to reach beyond your normal circle to discover new friends and partners in the human journey.

9. Volunteer to teach or facilitate at a free university or local organization.

10. Have fun!

Ambulance Service Manager Program 2012

Champion vs. Cheerleader

Champion vs. Cheerleader

David E. Nelson

I have been hiking the trails of Rocky Mountain National Park since I learned to walk.  In fact, my parents reminded me years ago, I was on those trails before I could walk.  We enjoyed introducing our children and now grandchildren to many of the same trails.  A few weeks ago, once again, I was hiking on the trail to Cub Lake and The Pool.  It is common as we pass people going in the opposite direction to pause and say “hi” and to share some short conversations.  I do it both as a friendly gesture and sometimes as a break to catch my breath and allow my body to rest a few moments.   In the course of our greetings the man noticed my baseball cap with KC on it and commented, “It must really be hard to be a Royals fan.”  My response was to share how much I enjoy listening to and attending games when I can.  I love an afternoon or evening at “The K” and love to share the experience with others when they are in town.  I was questioned a bit about “How can you support a team that is so pathetic and has not won a world series since 1985.”  I noticed a bit of defensiveness rising inside me, but did not react.  I simply responded,  “They are my team and I am proud to be a fan.”  We parted and will likely never see each other again.

 In reflecting on that experience I realize that loyalty, for me, is not attached to winning as much as it is for some others I know.  Someone once told me that if their football team is not playing for a national championship they are not interested any more.  Being a fan, for that person, is connected with a certain outcome.  They are cheerleaders for the team.  That is fine for them.  It is not OK for me.  I want to be a champion for my team and support them through good times and difficult times.  I know, some will say, I have been conditioned by living in a city that has not had Super Bowl champs or World Series teams for several decades.  I want to suggest there is something else operating here for me.

Loyalty is about being there for a team, a city, a country, a family, or another person no matter what happens.  As my father used to say, “Do or die for dear old Rutgers.”  We had no connection to the school in New Jersey, but he made the point.  Being a champion for others means to support, encourage, coach, and in every way show loyalty to a group of people.  I am glad that my parents were champions for me and not totally attached to “their desired” outcomes for me.  I let them down and they continued to love me.  I celebrate that love, even as they always made clear their desires and their opinions.

In operating a business it is also important to make a distinction between being a champion vs. cheerleader with our clients and our customers.  Both internal and external customers perform best when they have that sense of loyalty rather than judgment.  Customers are not always right, but they are always the customers.  Loyalty is about appreciating and supporting others to become the best they can be.  Being a champion for others can make a huge impact on that person’s performance and their sense of self worth.

In working with clients I choose to be their champion.  I believe in them, sometimes more than they believe in themselves.  Over a 6-year period I partnered with men in prison who have chosen to change their thinking and behavior and return to the free world to add value rather than continue to be a problem.  I shared my best with them.  I appreciated them and assisted as they discovered the best in their past and build new ways of dealing with the present and future.  Some will fail to live up to their and my expectations, but I am convinced that no love is every wasted.  As their champion I am willing to share my best thinking and my best suggestions and even my thoughts about their future. 

In working with an office team, you can be champions for those you supervise.  That does not mean to settle for less than excellence, but it does convey to them that you are loyal and you believe they can perform at a higher level when necessary.  To champion them is to create a connection of trust and loyalty that enables growth to occur.  Being loyal to a staff empowers great things for the whole team.

I really appreciate the friends I have who have made the decision to be my champion.  They have remained loyal during some difficult times.  I know I have disappointed them a time or two.  But I also know they will remain there for me whatever happens.  They champion me and I am a better person and a better friend because of it.

 The difference between being a champion vs. being a cheerleader makes sense to me both in the world of sports and in life in general.  I will keep supporting The Kansas City Chiefs and the Kansas City Royals.  I can’t wait until they play in the Super Bowl and the World Series.  I cheer their victories and love to celebrate with family and friends.  I am a great cheerleader.  And I will remain loyal when they do not reach the top every year.

 

ASM Class 2011 - Summer

 

 

 

CCM Class 2009

I just finished the first week in Kansas City with the Communications Center Managers (CCM) class of 2009.  I am deeply grateful for the investment these women and men are making on order to provide greater confidence in the United States and Canada for us when we dial "911".  These are wonderful people who are adding much value to our world.

The final morning when I open the day a poem was shared that touched my heart.  I include it below. I am very empowered and inspired when a person or a group recognizes in me what I most want to offer.  Thanks dear friends.

"The Gift In You"

Encouraging those who will lead and inspire,

you have tasked us to reach for that star

It's our hope and our prayer that you're very aware

...what a God Given blessing your are...

With joy and amazement we listen and learn

that there's something that works everyday;

For the message we hear is abundantly clear

...and we know that your path is our way

Finding good in the world around us,

To appreciate those who may fall;

For your spirit and song says we all must belong,

...because value resides in us all

We'll celebrate those who are different from us

And each human heart, we'll embrace;

Forgiving is fast, we'll let go of the past,

...and come from that 'positive place.'

May the promise of Human Agenda live on,

As its tenants will always hold true.

From near and from far, how grateful we are

...For the gift we've been given in you!

With our Thanks, Love and Admiration ...

Your 2009 CCM Class

Coaching For A Change

Coaching for a Change

David Nelson, Appreciative Inquiry Coach

 

One of the first questions I am asked when I introduce Appreciative Inquiry is, “Will it work then you want to correct or change behavior?”  Parents are reluctant to use “appreciative parenting” if it does not have a method of discipline.  Supervisors hesitate adopting a process unless it can be used to support better behavior and improvements in their employees.  Managers are weary of “pie in the sky” methods that do not take seriously the real work place where people can be lazy, offensive, and downright nasty to customers, clients, patients, and each other.

 

I love this question.  My enthusiasm for Appreciative Inquiry and Appreciate Supervision is precisely because it is a process that creates positive change in a powerful way.  My work with felons in a federal prison has reinforced this belief, but my original embracing of AI comes from the everyday interactions I have with family members, neighbors, friends, and partners in business.  Coaching for a change is both effective and fun.  Using the tools of appreciative inquiry results in changes in behavior that occur quickly and last longer.

 

Three coaching skills are at the heart of giving the power to another for making a change in behavior, attitude, or skill.   Remember, no person is a problem.  People are wonderful allies in our office, our community and our home.  A person’s behavior can be a problem.  A person’s attitude can be a problem.  An individual’s lack of knowledge can be a problem.  These are things, which can be addressed and changed.  I can’t change another person, but I can be a coach, a partner, a parent, and a friend to give another the attention, the language, the resources for them to make a change that can make the office, the community, or the home a more positive space.

 

First, keep identifying and celebrating the positive core and root cause for success of the person you would like to see change.  The first assumption of Appreciative Inquiry is “in every human being something works.”  My joy and my job in any relationship is to keep looking for and identifying that which works in another.  As a supervisor, my primary task is to bring out the best in the employees who report to me.  Appreciative Supervision is more about identifying success than about monitoring and discipline.  As a parent, it is important that my child knows I love them and believe in them.  Every child needs and deserves a parent that celebrates their playfulness and their curiosity.  In managing an office it is important to take note of the positive interaction and the excellence in performance.   When working with a person you would like to see make a change for the better, it is even more important to identify and celebrate the positive.  Look underneath the problem and recognize the person.  Connect at that level and amazing things can happen.

 

The second coaching skill is to keep the focus on behavior you want more of and as little attention as possible on behavior you want to stop.  The second assumption of Appreciative Inquiry is “what we focus on becomes our reality.”  When I ask people if they are getting the support and supervision then need to do their best, they often tell me, “I know if I make a mistake I will hear about it.”  Supervision is not about pointing out mistakes.  It is about pointing out excellence.  It is about “catching people doing the right thing” and letting them know you are aware of it.  If the only time people get the managers attention is when they do something wrong, I can understand why people don’t like supervision.  Some would suggest that we don’t need to recognize an employees work if they are just doing their job.  I argue that it is very important to let employees, children, friends and others know that you recognize and celebrate excellence.

 

If you want change, keep the focus on what you want, not on what you don’t want.  Language creates reality.  Talk about good work habits.  Tell stories of positive interactions between men and women.  Celebrate the gifts of ethnic and religious pluralism.  Organizations and families move in the direction of the stories they tell and the questions they explore.

 

The third coaching skill in assisting another to change is to give them the language, the resources and the training to keep improving.  Appreciative Supervision is about bringing out the best in another.  Sometimes the difference between coaching and criticism is merely timing.  If you are aware that someone is behaving in a disrespectful way on the phone with a vendor, coach him or her to listen and respond in a more positive way.  Remind them before the next call rather than scolding them after the call.  If a child is not interacting with other children in a positive and playful way, practice playfulness with them and set them up for success.  In my opinion there are only two reasons a person does not do their best.  They either do not know how to perform a task or they are choosing not to give it their best.  The first is an issue of coaching and training, giving them the resources and space to practice this new skill.  The second calls for a change in attitude.  If an employee knows their supervisor trusts and believes in them, they can respond to feedback and change.

Creating change is a part of partnering with others.  I am convinced by both the stories people tell me and my own interactions with others that people respond to positive interactions more quickly and more completely than from corrections, discipline, and criticism.  Coaching for a change can be rewarding for both the coach and the client.  Keep a record of the positive you recognize in others.  Continue to let others know how much you appreciative them.   Concentrate on keeping your focus and your language on those behaviors you want to see more often.  Give your best to the people you work and play with and more often than not they will return the favor.

 

 

 

Preparing for A Coaching Conversation

Coaching Prep Form
The purpose of this form is to help you reflect on the time since our last coaching meeting and to help us focus our coaching conversation. Please fill out the form and complete the form in advance of our next coaching conversation. You may e-mail to me or just have it in front of you when we begin our conversation.

Name

Date of Next Call

Accomplished or Learned since last coaching conversation

Remains to Be Accomplished

High Points

Grateful for

Other Comments

Appreciative Coaching Intake Form

Client Information Form
Please fill out this form on line and return it to your coach.
Name
Address
City
State/Province
Postal Code
Country
Occupation
Company Home phone
Work phone
Work extension
Mobile phone
E-mail
2nd e-mail
Title
Marital status/children
Education
Certificates, workshops, etc.
How did you hear about me?

Your History
1. Describe your three greatest accomplishments to date.
2. What made these accomplishments stand out for you?
3. What have you incorporated into your current actions from your past accomplishments?
4. How could you use what you’ve learned from these accomplishments to assist you in making future changes?
5. What major transitions have you had in the past two years? (For example, new assignment, new residence, new relationship, etc.)
6. If you worked with a coach before or a similar one-on-one adult relationship (for example, tennis coach, piano teacher, therapist), what worked well for you?
7. If you have worked with a coach, and you are not currently, how did that relationship end?

Your Life
1. Who are or have been your major role models?
2. What attributes of these role models do you admire and want to emulate?
3. What are the five more positive things in your life?
4. What are five things you world like to change in your life that would make it even more satisfying, effective and joyful? (Examples include relationships, information, environment, job.)
5. Who are the key supportive people in your life and what do they provide for you?
6. On a scale of 1 to 10 (1 being least effective and 10 being most effective), rate the quality of your life. _____By what criteria did you rate yourself?
7. What percentage of the life you are leading is actually YOUR life?

Your Self Today
1. Life five adjectives that describe you at your best.
2. What prevents you from being at your best?
3. What energizes you?
4. What says your energy?
5. What are you learning and accepting about yourself at present?
6. In what ways do you currently spend time, that if you were to spend if differently, would yield great happiness and achievement?
7. What do you consume now, that if you didn’t, would allow you to be healthier? (For example, alcohol, caffeine, sugar.)
8. Could therapy effectively resolve some issue in your life now?

Your Potential
1. What is your personal and/or professional vision?
2. What would you life to contribute to the world?
3. What are you most wanting to achieve in the next three years?
4. What are you most wanting to achieve in the next six months?
5. How ready are to go for it?
6. Use the list below as thought starters for the goals above.
• Family/home
• Relationships
• Financial situation
• Leisure time
• Career or business
• Self-care
• Personal character
• Learning

Making It Happen
1. Why have you hired me?
2. What are three immediate changes you can make to get you off to a good start in our coaching?
3. How can I help you to be more effective in working toward your goals?
4. Here are ways coaching clients work with me. Which of these appeal to you? (Select as many as apply.)
• Brainstorming strategies together
• Support, encouragement, and validation
• Insight into who you are and your potential
• Painting a vision of what you can become or accomplish
• Exploring possibilities and build on past success
• Accountability; checking up on goals
• Suggesting or designing action steps that lead to greater effectiveness and joy
5. What approaches to change have you found less effective for you?
6. What responsibility do you have for ensuring that our relationship works well?
7. How will you know that your coaching experience has been effective?

Benefits of Being Proactive

“The Benefits of Being Proactive”
Dr. David E. Nelson
The Human Agenda

My wife and I are the proud grandparents of our fourth grandchild. Her parents live in Bozeman, Montana, one of the most beautiful places I have ever visited. We just returned from a wonderful week hanging out with little Molly Ann and could not be more pleased with this latest member of the human family. She seems very calm and centered and, of course, in the eyes of this proud grandparent, very enlightened already.

In conversations with our son, I realized that since they live outside the city, they are on well water and therefore are not going to have the benefit of fluoride in their water. I know there are other means of having fluoride treatments, but this reality gave me pause to reflect on the dental industry and its commitment to health maintence. The use of fluoride in drinking water is endorsed by over 90% of the health organizations and yet about half of the US population fails to receive the maximum benefits possible from community water fluoridation and the use of fluoride products.

The oral health segment of medicine has been in the forefront of prevention and the nurture of healthy communities. They are to be commended for that leadership. They have taught the rest of us that it is better and often less expensive to prevent a health problem than to solve one. That principle can provide sound wisdom in other areas of life as well. Stephen Covey in his bestseller Seven Habits of Highly Effective People invites us to “begin with the end in mind.”

Think of the many benefits of operating your professional and personal life with that conviction. Being proactive rather than reactive can result in a variety of cost saving and face saving outcomes. It can also dramatically improve the joy and value in your life. I will share my current top ten list of ways to be proactive. I invite you to add to my list or better yet create your own.

1. Begin every day by affirming your personal and professional vision. I hope that all of you have developed a vision statement that gives you meaning and inspires you. Each morning as I dress I remind myself of my personal vision statement.
I am a human being.
I will never be a victim.
I will never be an oppressor.
I will never be a bystander.
I am a human being.
I live fully.
I learn much.
I laugh often.
I love well.
I lead myself and others.
I am a human being.

2. Begin every week planning the balance in your life. Make certain you are keeping your personal and professional life in balance. Am I practicing extreme self-care so that I can be fully present to my family, my staff, my customers, and others? In every life it is important to have harmony between engaged and disengaged times. Are you nurturing your body, mind and spirit?
3. Begin every month by revisiting you life goals. Am I on track in my evolution as a wonderful human being? Remember, “It’s your life. Don’t miss it.” Each time you turn the calendar use the act to remind you of the vision you have of your future. Our destiny is determined, not by some outside force or past experience, but by the decisions we make each day. We create the world we live in by our language and our behaviors.
4. Begin every year by reflecting more on the future than on the past. What are the successes on which I will build in the coming year? What ways can I do even more of what I love? Designing an even better future is fun and empowering.
5. Begin every meeting fully prepared. If the meeting is important enough to attend, it is important enough to be fully prepared to facilitate or participate. Too many meetings stumble along when participants are not prepared. Too often the first five minutes are spend complaining about those who are late or not in attendance. Every meeting tells a story. What is the story this meeting will tell?
6. Begin every encounter aware that each person is unique and presents a new opportunity for you. Treat each customer, client, friend or other as they would want to be treated. Recognize and celebrate the good inside of you as you honor and acknowledge the good in each person you encounter.
7. End every day with gratitude. Many people suggest that the quality of one’s life rises in direct relationship with the gratitude in that life. Keep a gratitude journal. Speak words of appreciation to your life partner, your children, and others.
8. End every week with some celebration. As you look back at the completed week there are always stories of success to share. People and organizations move in the direction of the stories they tell. Make certain that you continue to tell stories that capture the good about your life.
9. End every month with listing discoveries. The only wasted day is the day on which you have not claimed some learning. Sometimes those lessons are filled with great joy. Sometimes they are filled with tears. But always there is some new insight to claim and add to your personal wisdom. Use a journal to record your discoveries.
10. End your life with rejoicing. A Lakota friend of mine tells the story that when a child is born, the community rejoices and the infant cries. Live your life so that when you die, the community cries and you rejoice.

There is always more power and energy in creating and following an attractive vision of the future than in continuing to try to fix the past. I want for Molly Ann and for all members of the human family happiness and health. I want for each of you the courage to live your lives on your terms and as a gift to the universe.

Powerful Questions

Appreciative Supervision
Questions When Working With Challenging Behavior

1. What have been your key learnings from this incident that will benefit your work in the future and assure a more satisfying result next time?
2. In our reflection this past half hour we have discussed a major concern in your work. Tell me the key points you are taking from this discussion that you plan to implement.
3. We both firmly believe that you can step up in your job performance. I believe in you and in your work. How will you demonstrate your excellence in the coming weeks?
4. What do you think are the next best steps in correcting this lapse? What do you need from me in order to accomplish it?
5. Your commitment to our mission is clear. I know you can present a more positive presence at our next meeting. Is there any more information or support you need in order to step up?
6. What do you recognize as your strengths that can be enhanced in order to perform at an even more excellent level?
7. Share with me your developmental plan for the next period of time. I will respond and perhaps add some additional ways to support your professional growth.
8. As you keep growing yourself, what training opportunities do you feel you would benefit from?
9. In facing the past honestly and looking at the future realistically, what changes are you planning to make and how can I support your development?
10. I can only support your continued work in this position with your commitment to significant change. Are you willing to make that change? How can we measure it and in what ways can we recognize and celebrate the change?